Soul Care?

Originally published February 27, 2008

Spiritual Friendship is a refreshing change from the usual “chick lit” or “girlfriend” level of spiritual depth and intelligence. Those have their place…I guess…but this is something else entirely.

I hope you take time to read these excerpts from an interview with the author, Mindy Caliguire.

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Why are spiritual friendships so vital for soul care and what are some barriers to developing such friendships?

Mindy: First, I believe the relationships between believers were intended to be a primary means by which the Spirit would move among His people, producing life and growth. Thus, they are, or can be, an enormous means by which we connect with God and experience transformation. And part two is this: unfortunately most Christians are deeply alone and intentionally hidden from one another (most are hidden from themselves, too, but that’s another topic!). So not only is this a key area of spiritual power and potential, it is also the most widely abandoned and feared (often for good reason).

Simple barriers such as pace of life and physical distance from friends can make intimate, life-giving friendships difficult. But the deeper barriers are our internal resistances to being known more fully by anyone else as the messy, “mixed-bag,” incomplete, wounded and broken people we in fact are. It’s so much better on the other side of vulnerability…but it is still difficult to choose, particularly when we are mired in guilt and shame. Oddly enough, Jesus’ people are often anything but free, and are generally not characterized by grace. Much of this centers around how self-protected and defensive we are, particularly in our relationships.

I guess my dream scenario is that a few friends (new or old) who share the desire for a deeper experience of their spiritual life would read and work through these materials on their own and then together share their learnings and help one another see areas of progress, healing and growth.

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Dare we get beyond the superficial in our relationships? Will we choose to invest the time, risk, and energy–yes and pain–into those people who can be trusted? When they ask “how are you?” will you commit to not answering “fine”?